Maybe you'll be Kate one day
by ankeltje
Summary: Jane stays behind when Maura leaves... Kate comes back after 6 years... Coincidence?
1. Chapter 1

It's quiet, too quiet. No ringing telephones, no sound of footsteps, no keyboards in use. The usual laughter is missing, just as the clicking of heels on the wooden floor. She is missing.

Lunches aren't supposed to go like this.

It's not supposed to be quiet.

I'm not supposed to stay behind alone, with my head on my desk where it rests on my arms.

I'm not supposed to hide my face behind my long black hair.

I'm not supposed to fight my tears.

Yet today, it is that way.

Frost and Korsak are somewhere further up the street eating lunch, Frankie's probably with mom in the cafeteria and me, I'm sitting here. Not hungry enough, not enough strength to go downstairs.

I hear the bell of the elevator and how the doors open, but I pay no attention to it. Footsteps move in my direction, but I don't look up, because I know it's not her. She walks differently, her footsteps sound different.

Only when I hear my name do I look up.

"Jane…"

"What?" My mother can read the pain on my face and sits next to me.

"Why are you sitting here? Why aren't you downstairs with your brother having lunch? I thought you weren't working on a case. What's wrong?" I sigh and look away to a picture of me and Maura, the head medical examiner and my best friend.

"She's gone." My voice cracks and I look back at mom while I keep fighting against my tears.

"Who's gone?"

"Maura, she's gone."

"What do you mean 'she's gone'?"

"She… She hasn't been at work for three days. She doesn't answer my texts. She doesn't pick up when I call her."

"Maybe she's sick and her phone broke? Have you checked it downstairs?"

"Yeah, she didn't call in sick, but.." I take a deep breath before I continue, but I know it won't take much longer before I'll burst out in tears. "She did call.. She resigned."

"What? Why would she do that? I thought she loved her job?"

"I don't know, Ma, I really don't know." My voice is a whisper whil I quickly wipe away the first tear.

"Have you been to her house?" I nod.

"Yeah, but you'll never believe what I found out. She um.. She sold her house." I hear my mother take a sharp breath and then the silence washes over the room again. I can only hear our breathing. "She didn't leave an address. She didn't say a word to me. She's gone."

"Oh, Jane, I'm so sorry…"

"But why? Why is she gone? Why so sudden? Why didn't she tell me?"

"I don't know, Jane.."

"I miss her already.."

"I know, Jane, I know." She rests her hand on my arm and squeezes gently.

"Ma, could you please leave me alone for a moment and go downstairs?"

"Come with me, you have to eat at least something."

"I'm not hungry." I look back at the picture on my desk and see from the corner of my eye that mom keeps watching me, worry written all over her face. "Ma, go. I'm fine." She keeps watching me for a mere second, then finally stands up. I hear her footsteps fade away, the bell of the elevator and the doors which open and close. Then it's silent again.

It's only me again. Only me, my breathing and my sorrow.

Maura was special. She was my best friend, but friends are replaceble. I've had a few other friends, another friend is easily found.

Maura was the best Medical Examiner I've ever worked with. There will be another one, probably not as good as Maura, but he or she will just take over her job.

I can have lunch with my brother or partner, I'll never have to be alone.

In the evening, I can just continue working, or go to Ma. I can fill my evenings, even without her.

Those things aren't the problem. On those subjects, I can live with Maura's leaving.

There's one thing that'll keep bugging me, though.

I never told her and now I probably won't ever get to tell her.

She'll never know how much I love her. That she means so much more to me than just my best friend.

I'll never get the chance to tell her.

She'll never know.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you so much for the reviews!  
>To all of you who asked for morn don't worry, I already finished this sory. My first language is dutch, so I wrote it in dutch and asked a friend to translate it. But we both have been very busy, that's why it took so long.<br>So, just be patient, there will be 3 more chapters!

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><p>The doors of the elevator closed and Kate sighed when it moved up. She was back, back in the life she had chosen. Back in the life she had to hide for six years.<p>

The lift stopped and the doors opened. She got out, straight in the chaos that was Friday morning. Some people looked at her, others ignored her, but it didn't matter to her. It felt good to be back.

She walked towards her old desk, which was now occupied by a woman she didn't know. Even before she reached her desk, two men on the desks opossite of hers looked at her with wide eyes and got up.

"Kate?"

"You're back?"

"Goodmoring Tony, McGee. Yes indeed, I'm back."

Her two former collegues walked round their desk and came over to hug her.

"We missed you, Kate," Tim McGee said as he pulled back from the embrace.

"I missed you too, McGee."

"Did ya miss me too?" Tony questioned with a sly grin on his face.

"Of course, how could I not miss you? I especially missed the fact to make fun of you," Kate replied and Tony offered a sarcastic laugh before turning serious.

Kate heard a cough behind her and turned around. The woman, who had been sitting behind her desk, was now standing behind her, clearly waiting for an explanation. "Who are you?"

"Kate Todd, and I suspect you're the one who took my place." The woman lifted an eyebrow and looked at Tony and McGee.

"Who is she?"

"Come on, Ziva, this is Kate! You know, Kate. We told you about her! Ari killed her before you killed him?"

"Oh! That Kate! Nice to meet you. I'm Ziva David," she laughed as she extended her hand to Kate.

"Welcome back, Kate," a sudden voice behind them said. The four agents turned around to look at the source.

Their boss, special agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs, walked toward his desk with a coffee in hand. He started up his computer and didn't pay attention to the four agents. Tony, McGee and Ziva rushed towards their desks and Kate went to Gibbs.

"Goodmorning, Gibbs."

He looked up. "I already said 'welcome back, Kate'."

"Yeah, I know, I heard."

"Then what are you doing here?"

"Eh.. Waiting for you to tell me what to do?"

"Nothing."

"What do you mean 'nothing'?"

"Just, nothing. She'll come."

"Who?"

"KAAAAAATE!" Gibbs' laugh filled the room as he looked at Kate, who started laughing too.

Even before she had turned around, she already knew it was Abby Sciuto, the scientist of the team, who was running towards her. She flew around Kate's neck, who didn't mind at all. Abby had been her best friend when she left six years ago and she had missed her badly.

"Come down to my lab, I want you to tell me everything!" Abby yelled excitedly as she took Kate's arm and pulled her to the elevator.

Kate smiled as she saw how happy Abby was to see her again. She was, without a doubt, the happiest goth girl you'd ever find.

When they arrived in Abby's lab, Kate was met with Abby's metal music. Yeah, she was definitely back.

"So, tell me!" Abby urged, rolling a chair toward Kate.

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything! Where have you been? What did you do? Did you meet sexy guys?" Kate had to laugh about her last question.

"Alright, I've been in Boston. I was chief medical examiner."

"Like Ducky! Did you speak to your bodies too?"

"Yeah, like Ducky. And yes, I did speak to a body once. It was a seventeen-year-old girl. It was quite horrible actually. I'd rather not be reminded of it."

"Oh, okay. Were there any cute guys?"

"There were a couple of cute guys, yes, but they were only good for sex. Well… good.. One wanted to lick my face.."

"Oh! I had a boyfriend once who made me jump with a bouncing ball!"

"Really? Wow.."

"Yeah, he was pretty weird.. Anyways, go on!"

"Alright, there was a detective. I really liked her, she's great. We had sleepovers and I went undercover with her. We also went to Yoga together. Really, she was my best friend there."

"You replaced me?"

"No! No, of course not, Abby! But you were here, in Washington and I was there, in Boston. I had to have someone to go out with?"

"I was just joking, come one, continue!"

"What else do you want to know?"

"I don't know, just tell me something!"

"Alright, okay. The guy who wanted to lick my face? Well, he was kind of stalking me. Jane, the detective, and I tried everything to get rid of him, but he kept coming back."

"Did you fight him off? Showed him your gun?"

"No," Kate laughed. "No, my weapon was in my house. It's not very logical for a medical examiner to walk around with a gun, you know. No, in the end, Jane and I pretended we were dating to give him the idea that he really didn't stand a chance."

"So Tony was right?"

"About what?"

"He swore you'd come back with a girlfriend."

"Oh, well, we.. We're not really together." Kate felt her cheeks turn red and she quickly focused on something else in Abby's gigantic lab.

"You're blushing! You _are_ together!"

"No, we're not together, just best friends."

"I don't believe you."

"It's the truth."

"I made a lie detector for McGee, I can use it on you too. Or I can make a truth serum.."

Kate sighed. She knew Abby wouldn't stop until she had the truth. "We're not together, but.. I wouldn't mind it if we were."

"Oh my Gosh, Kate! You're in love!"

"I know, Abby, and if you keep shouting like that, everyone will know."

"Does she know?"

"No."

"Why didn't you tell her?"

"Because, Abby, I knew I'd have to come back here. How was I supposed to explain that to her?"

"You should've told her the truth. It's not that hard, is it?"

"Then I would have to tell her that her friend has been lying to her for six years."

"Oh…"

"I just couldn't, Abby. It wouldn't work and I hate that."

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><p>So, what do you guys think?<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

**I am truly sorry for letting you guys wait so long. I don't know if I already said it, but I finished this story in Dutch, so I actually just ahve to translate it. But, I kind of forgot about it... I was in my last year of high school, so I had a lot of school work, and I've been busy with writing other stories... But! I graduated 2 days ago, so I've go a lot of spare time, so I promise I will translate the other two parts as soon as possible!**  
><strong>I'm really grateful for all the follows, favorites and reviews, and I hope you will enjoy this part!<strong>

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><p>Ziva stepped out of the elevator and immediately noticed the grin on Tony's face. They'd been working together for 6 years, and she knew that the grin didn't mean anything good. She glanced at Kate, who was working behind her desk, and McGee, who had just arrived and was putting his stuff down, before walking over to Tony.<p>

'What are you doing?' she whispered immediately.

'What do you mean?'

'I know that grin, what is your plan?'

'Just watch, and enjoy…' He returned his attention to something else. Ziva followed the glace, that stopped at Kate.

'What have you done with her?'

The only reaction she got was Tony grinning wider and sitting straight in his chair. Ziva was also watching Kate, and when the woman got up, she heard Tony gasping. She looked at a shocked Tony for a second and then back at Kate, who put a paper on Gibbs' desk.

'What?'

'How- How? That's impossible!'

Again Ziva looked from Tony to Kate, who smiled while Tony pointed to her while gasping like a dry fish. Kate stood next to Ziva at Tony's desk and smile when she leaned over it.

'Tony, I'm not a probie. Did you really think I wouldn't notice the glue on my chair? I'm not taking off my clothes for your entertainment.'

'If it was just to enjoy myself, I would have glued McGee's fingers to his keyboard.'

'Tony!' The three of them looked in the voice's direction.

Tim McGee was sitting behind his desk, next to Tony's, and held up his hands, glued to his keyboard. Ziva and Kate tried their best not to laugh, what suddenly went without further problems when Gibbs came out of the elevator.

'Take you stuff, we've got a dead marine.'

The two woman ran to their desks, took their badge, gun and jacket and walked next to Tony to the elevator, not thinking about the fact that McGee and his keyboard were literally inseparable.

Gibbs worked himself between Kate Ziva and Tony with his coffee in his hand to walk in front of them, slapping Tony on the back of his head while passing him.

'Auwch! What was that for, boss?'

'For thinking you could glue Kate to her chair.'

They got in the elevator , McGee with his keyboard, and Gibbs pushed the button.

'So, where are we going?'

'Boston.' Gibbs answered before taking a sip of his coffee.

'In the moment she heard the name of the city where she'd lived for 6 years, Kate turned and looked at Gibbs.

'I can't go with you.'

'And why not?'

'Gibbs! They'll recognize me! Especially Jane, what do I have to tell her?!'

'Are you Special Agent Caitlin Todd?' Kate looked at her boss with a strange look because of the weird question, but answered either way.

'Yes.'

'Then you're coming with us.'

The doors of the elevator shoved open behind her and Gibbs stepped out of it, meaning the discussion was closed. Kate had no choice, she had to go to Boston.

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><p>Kate had been worrying the entire ride to Boston. What if she saw Jane? It would probably happen because she was a homicide detective. But what did she had to say? Jane would recognize her for sure, even now she wasn't fashionable dress, her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and there was a cap on her head with NCIS. She was sure Jane would be mad at her, for that she knew the woman all too well.<p>

But what she was most worried about was the possibility of Jane wanting to keep in contact with her. She'd thought it was best to break all contact they had, that it was the easiest and less painful thing to do. But what if Jane would call or e-mail her every week? She would terribly miss her, and she knew it would break her.

All the courage Kate had collected during the ride disappeared when they arrived at the crime scene. The first person she saw was Jane, sitting next to the body with her back turned to her. Ziva, Tony, Gibbs and McGee, who was separated from his keyboard, got out of the van and Kate had no choice as to follow them.

Just as the others she showed her identification en ducked under the tape, on her way to the body.

While the others chose to stand around the body, Kate chose to stand behind Jane, who was still next to the body, hoping she wouldn't get much attention.

'Who are you?' Jane asked when she noticed them.

'Special Agent Gibbs, NCIS. This are Special Agents Todd, David, DiNozzo and McGee. What do we've got?' Gibbs immediately asked. Jane looked up and answered him while she returned her attention to the body.

'Lt. Lovel Johns. A dog walker found him, we don't know the cause of death.'

'Did you move him?'

'No. We did search his pockets for some identification. When we saw that we was a marine, we called you.'

'Good. Tony, take some pics. McGee and Ziva, look for suspicious things, Kate, sketch the crime scene.'

'On it, boss.' It sounded in union, and Kate knew she shouldn't had done that.

She saw Jane turning around and ducked to take her gear, hiding her face behind her cap. Trying to ignore Jane she started sketching the crime scene, but she knew it was too late. Jane had recognized her.

'Agent Todd, can I talk to you for a second? In private?' And there it was, the moment Kate was so afraid of. Acting naturally, she closed her sketch book and looked at Jane.

'Of course.'

She walked under the yellow tape with Jane and followed the detective to her car, where she abruptly turned around.

'I want an explanation.'

'For what?'

'For everything, Maura! You just disappear without telling anyone, and then you come back as a NCIS-agent!' kate sighed and barely dared to look at Jane.

'I'm sorry, Jane, but it's really complicated.'

'Try me.'

'I don't have time for this, Jane, not now. Can, can I come by this evening? I promise I'll tell everything.' Jane seemed to doubt, but eventually gave in.

'Fine, but I really want to know everything!' Kate nodded.

'I promise. And, will you please call me Kate?'

'Is that your real name?'

'Yes.' She sighed while looking down.

Jane sighed and looked at the NCIS-team that was investigating the body and the crime scene.

'Come on, we've got a crime to solve.'


	4. Chapter 4

Kate had been collecting courage all day for this moment, the she was standing in front of Jane's door. She was staring at the 12 on the white door with mixed feelings.

On one side she wanted to go in, see Jane and explain everything in the hope she wasn't mad anymore. On the other side she wanted to run away, never see Jane again and forget her so her feelings would disappear.

She was pulled out of her thoughts by Jo Friday's barking and saw Jane standing in the door way.

'How long have you been standing there?'

'A while.'

'Are you going to come in?'

'If I'm allowed to.'

Jane stepped aside to make room for Kate to enter. She stepped inside and uneasily looked around while Jane closed the door again. The apartment was just as Kate remembered it, only a bit more messier which meant that Angela, Jane's mother, hadn't been there for a while.

'You can just sit down, you're still home here.'

Kate knew what Jane meant, but it didn't feel like it. It felt like they were strangers for each other, and in some way they also were. Jane had never met Kate. She still sat down on the sofa and thankfully accepted the glass of wine Jane offered her.

'So…?' Jane immediately asked while sitting down next to Kate.

'What do you want to know?'

'Everything.' With a sigh Kate took a sip of her wine before looking at Jane.

'My name is Caitlin Todd, but everyone just calls me Kate. I worked for the president for several years and then Gibbs offered me place in his team. I worked about two years for the NCIS before the director gave me a special assignment. They suspected that the army wanted destroy files of soldiers and infiltrated in police corpses to do so.' She paused to take another sip before continuing. 'They chose agents from every department for this operation. I was chosen because I studied medicine in France, I didn't lie about that. I faked my own death and moved to Brookline. You needed a Medical Examiner so I became one and looked into the lives of every agent.'

'So, you also checked me?'

'Yes, I'm sorry. But I didn't dig into your personal life, I swear!'

'But you know about the drinking.'

'Yes. I don't know why, and you don't have to tell me. It's not my business.'

For a moment it was quiet in the apartment. The only sound was the ticking of Jo's paws when she lay down next to Jane on the sofa.

'How long have you been undercover?'

'Six years. Actually it came as a surprise when they stopped the operation, and everything went so fast that I couldn't think of a good excuse for leaving so sudden.'

'Six years? So you haven't seen your friends or family for six years?' Kate sighed.

'Jane, I lied to you, but not about everything. I didn't lie about the fact I was adopted, that I went to boarding school when I was 10 or that my parent's didn't had much time for me. Almost everything I told you about myself was true. I never had much friends and when I had to work at night that was actually good for my social life.'

Again it got quiet in the apartment, a silence that was only manageable by the sounds of the traffic outside that broke it every now and then.

'Did you plan on telling me eventually?'

'I was undercover, I wasn't allowed-'

'I mean after the operation. Did you plan on coming back to see me sometime?'

'I, I don't know. I told myself I wouldn't, but I don't know if I could do that. You are the only friend I ever had, except for Abby.' Kate looked at Jane and it was obvious that her answer had hurt her. 'I better go.' Kate put down her half empty glass of wine and rose. She shortly scratched Jo behind her ear before making her way to the door.

'Maura, wait.' Kate turned around and looked at Jane. 'I, I mean Kate.'

'It's okay;'

'No, it's not okay. I can't let you leave, not again. I can't let you leave without telling you.' She also rose and stood in front of Kate.

'Tell me what?'

'I, God, this is suddenly a lot more difficult.'

'I don't get it…'

'I, no, Maura, was more than just a friend.'

'I was you best friend, I know.'

'No, I mean, what I felt went so much further than just friendship.'

'You, you're in love with me?'

'No, I'm in love with Maura? You are Kate, and I don't know if I know Kate, in what things Kate and Maura are the same. I'm in love with Maura, but I don't know if I'm in love with you.'

'Well, there are a lot of differences between Kate and Maura, but there one very important thing that they have in common.' Kate looked down, not daring to look at Jane anymore.

'And what would that be?'

'They're both in love with Jane Rizzoli. That's the reason I didn't plan on coming back to see you, I would miss you so much in DC.' Kate mumbled before catching her lower lip between her teeth.

For a moment nothing happened. Jane just stared at Kate, who was staring at her shoes. They just stood there, both not knowing what to do.

I was Jane who made the decision. She stepped closer to Kate, tilted her chin and pressed her lips upon Kate's. The feeling that went through both of them was indescribable, but didn't last long. Kate didn't even get the chance to kiss back before Jane pulled away.

'My best friend hated me when I told her I also like women and that she was the one that made me realize it. I was seventeen and I went to the drug store with some older friends where I spent all my money on alcohol.' Jane whispered with closed eyes, her forehead resting against Kate's.

'Why are you telling me this?'

'Because I trust you. I trust you to choose what's best for both of us.'


End file.
